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The Key to Happy Love: First Become Friends


Some believe that true love begins with friendship. Others object: these are two different types of relationships for which there are separate “shelves” in our brain. Who is right?

Love after friendship - does it even work?

Network relationship experts love to frighten readers with a mysterious “friend zone”: hitting it supposedly means that you will forever remain in the eyes of a potential partner, “just a friend.” And what is about reality? Psychologist Lucy Hunt (Lucie Hunt) conducted a survey of 167 couples between men and women to find out what the circumstances of their acquaintance were how they were looking for each other. Each participant was interviewed separately. The results were divided approximately equally: 40% said they were friends before becoming lovers, and 41% said they fell in love with each other immediately. 19% of couples had no agreement at all about how their story began.

Lucy Hunt decided to find out if couples-friends are different from couples that have developed on the basis of sexual attraction. She assumed that in the first case personal qualities, compatibility of characters and temperaments of men and women who were looking for love, common tastes and interests (that is, what the future can provide stability for the couple) play a more important role, and in the second, external data and the attractiveness of the image in general. 

Friendship - the foundation of a couple

Social psychologist Grace Cornish (Grace Cornish) argues that men and women,whose relationship began with friendship, behave more flexibly in the event of conflict and are more attentive to each other's feelings: “As friends, you feel sympathy for each other. You learn to respect each other. You are looking to learn a lot about each other. Friendship is the foundation that can make the whole structure of a couple more durable. ”

In addition, according to the psychologist, in such couples there is much more trust and sincerity between men and women: “If you have a real strong friendship, you will not have to pretend to be who you are not, in order to please your beloved one. Some people are looking to keep themselves within the framework only until they cross the threshold of the family home. But your true nature will manifest itself, if you communicate as friends. There is no place for the game, because you need not make an impression, but find a partner for communication.